I know some were left puzzled a fortnight ago. You can browse through my last column article post – Suicide made easy, Part I – to be able to make a concrete link with this piece.
Are you tired? Worn out? Burned out on religion? Come to me. Get away with me and you’ll recover your life. I’ll show you how to take a real rest.
Walk with me and work with me–watch how I do it. Learn the unforced rhythms of grace. I won’t lay anything heavy or ill-fitting on you.
Keep company with me and you’ll learn to live freely and lightly.
(Matt. 11: 28-30, The Message Bible)
Only those who are tired will appreciate rest. Only those who have come to the end of self-will cherish a new beginning. We often times struggle with the truth because we are eager to make a show of our ego, pride and self-empathy. How sweet would it be if we can just learn the unforced rhythm of grace.
We persistently chip vitality off our being as a result of the art we make with our heart. We harbor grudge against people in our hearts because of the pain they once inflicted on us. The space occupied in our heart by the person we hold a grudge against fellow is meant for peace of mind, sound mind and emotional health. Your heart is always heavy because of the number of people you have permitted to lodge there without paying a rent.
This may be the time for you to do some release. Someone said, “When you don’t forgive, you are giving another person a rent in your heart without being paid for it.” This simply means you are cheating yourself. You’ve been cheating yourself all the while and you are pretending as if it’s all okay. I’m not saying it’s easy but it’s by far worth it. This may be that golden moment when you will decide to choose worth over ease. Treading on the path of ease may not always confer on us the desired end but choosing worth does; it grooms us for the manifestation of who we really are.
To release that person in your heart is what will give you the expected freedom and strength to fulfill your destiny. Don’t let anything stand as a clog in the wheel of progress to your well-being. If there is any weight worthy of being harboured in your heart let it be the passion to have love in dealing with your neighbours and ensuring a better living condition.
It is said, To err is human and to forgive is divine. Imbibing a forgiving spirit gives you an upgrade into a life of where limitations are absent. In fact, Jesus in Matthew chapter 18 and verses 21 and 22 gives a module of a prepaid plan on forgiving when the inquisitive and outspoken Peter asked Him a question on this.
Peter might have been bothered on this same issue as you are. He was surrounded by hurts right, left and centre. Betrayal; round about. He was totally fed up with this idea of letting go all the time. Not just to those he had confirmed to be his enemy but especially the people he truly loved and cared for and who may ultimately pay him back in a bad coin. He must have thought: I must react to show I’m a man; if not always, at least when the offender has reached the limit. Okay, what can the limit be? I think seven should be a perfect number. He then went to the Word-Made-Flesh to confirm the limit.
Then came Peter to him, and said, Lord, how oft shall my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? till seven times?
Jesus saith unto him, I say not unto thee, Until seven times: but, Until seventy times seven.
(Matt. 18:21-22, King James Version)
One of the major important steps to take in forgiving another person is to first accept and believe that it is possible to forgive, even before the offence comes.
The unforgiving thought can be likened to a cup full of dye added to a bucket of clean water. The effect of the dye won’t just stop at the point it meets the water surface. It starts spreading by the principle of diffusion until the colourless fluid now assumes the colour of the dye. The once colourless (free, cheerful, focused, goal-oriented, passionate, friendly) fluid (or, you) now assumes the colour (reactions such as being moody, touchy, hostile, suspicious, paranoid, and hard-to-please) of the dye.
The unforgiving thought won’t stop at the realm of the mind where it begins. It will creep into your body, to sap the strength out of it, thereby creating a suitable ground for the development of divers emotional illnesses. It will even go ahead to your spirit and bridge the smooth communication that ought to exist between you and your God.
And forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven (left, remitted, and let go of the debts, and have given up resentment against) our debtors.
(Matt. 6: 12, Amplified Version)
As medical practitioners, we understand the role counseling and the attitudes, behaviour and action of the patient will play in the process of recovery. The role of reconciliation with his/her Creator also needs every emphasis. This is the Biopsychosocial approach in ensuring that your patient gets the best of treatment. After all, Health is a state of complete physical, social, and mental (and, in fact, spiritual) well-being and not just the mere absence of a disease.
Why should we commit suicide in installment. Let go and let grow.