I once heard the story of a woman who would look through the window of her house every morning to see her neighbor’s clothes spread on the rope. In a moment, she would shake her head and say, “When would this woman ever learn how to properly wash her clothes?”
This continued for a time until one morning she was expecting to see the same awful image but surprisingly saw a different scene—the clothes were radiantly exuding sparkles of elegance. Still walloped by this unexpected turnout, she called on her own husband to share in her amazement. Having listened patiently, with a mature smile her husband nodded and replied, “I decided to wake up earlier this morning to personally clean our window.” This struck the woman so hard that not a single word could get out of her parted lips. This implies that the neighbor had been dutifully taking care of her clothes but the window through which this woman was accessing her surrounding was laced with stains. There had been a constant transmission of her personal errors on the appraisal yardstick of her innocent neighbor.
It is not a rare finding that we swiftly sight the error in others more than a thousand times before we struggle to agree to just one that’s own shortcoming. We often fail to realize that the speck we see in the eyes of others is the minimized version of the log in ours.
If you are paranoid, and you scarcely see the good in the people around you, this calls for caution. You may need to take a breath, subject yourself to fair scrutiny and note your findings for effecting necessary changes. You need to work on yourself first and it will surprise you how the red-labeled people would turn out.
A man is set to change the world when he has conquered the giant within called Self. Philip Massinger said: “He that would govern others, first should be the master of himself”. This same thing has made us to misjudge the intents of those who are truly loyal to the cause of helping us realize the dreams conceived in our hearts.
When you meet someone for the first time, the colour of the personality is white, just like a plain canvas. Nothing is inscribed on it yet. The moment we start interacting with this new fellow, you begin to make a painting based on the perceived impression. This painting remains as coloured until you meet this person again. The re-encounter first brings to your subconscious mind the painting made based on the previous relationship and it is on this premise that you start the new line of interaction.
In some cases, the painting you have on the canvas of our mind is the exact replica of your personality—a product of wrong deductions which therefore affects the way you move on with life.
A lot of people’s emotions have been dented by unpleasant past experiences. The once open, charming, warm and comely girl may end up turning to a hostile and aggressive lady. This might have followed series of abuse from someone who is meant to offer her a safe haven of warmth and trust in her growing up years. This is just one of the many events.
A boy who suffered rejection from family members after a fatal accident that claimed the lives of both parents may show a high degree of paranoia in relating with other staffs in his place of work, even as a grown up. The unpleasant event would have indirectly coloured the mind of many of his colleagues.
That someone had hurt you before does not give you enough room to not trust again. You can still love. A previous betrayal should not refrain you from those who want to warm you up in their open arms of embrace. Failure is not ofcorded at the time of fall but after a protracted period of remaining in the fallen state. Failure is that force that makes you to be stuck to the ground, refusing attempts to get back on your feet and making a ‘beautiful’ sorry tale of the fall to attract pity and empathy. You might have had a little or no control over what inflicted the pain, but this is your life; you need to live it to the fullest! Get up and pick up the broken pieces! You cannot sit back and watch a dent in your emotion wrongly govern your life. You cannot stay idle and resolve to nonchalance about the things that influence your happiness. No you can’t.
Even while treading on the part of caution, in conclusion, give people the opportunity to express the creativity they have to offer. Lean back and make attempts at understanding why they do what they do and this will help them, and especially you, to become a better person. Don’t allow the past’s discolouration to deny you today’s joy. Don’t let the past woes lock you out of tomorrow’s bliss. Strive to make sure that each moment is spent appreciating the beauty in our diversities.
God bless you.